Why does this happen?

I am not an anti-social person. In fact I love hanging out with good people, spending quality time with friends and making each day very happy for me and people around me.

But I cannot tell why this happens to me. This is really a rude behavior from my side if I think from others point of view. I mean at the end of the day if I wanted to do what I do always which is not a good behavior then why at all I think of socializing?

What I am talking about is that in the beginning, for example when guests come at my house I am very excited, happy and think of all the fun I will have. And then when the guests come, I enjoy also with them, but after some point of time I separate myself from them and tend to be alone in my own world. I then suddenly think only of myself and often refuse to go to some places with them if I find that going to those places won’t suit me. I mean, I should go there just for the sake of them! I know they feel bad and will think I am a weirdo but then I can’t help it. Seriously. And my parents? They are like do whatever is comfortable to you. They don’t be like “beta come, it does not look nice” and then I see the sad and please-come type of faces of the guests. I get so confused that it’s really a tough decision to go or not to go.

I am not able to be firm as a rock on something I decide. I often tend to think that if I take this decision will I suffer a lot in future? Or what good/bad will happen to me? I mean whatever be the outcome, good/bad I should be happy on what I believe is good for me at that point of time. Others views should not matter for me. But there are things called EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING which people often do.

When usually a person is emotionally blackmailed then in the first case, he/she might know he/she is being emotionally blackmailed and they don’t say anything just to, you know make the other person happy. But the second case is very tedious for the person who is being blackmailed. It’s a kind of DO-OR-DIE type of typical, stupid situation. Means if the victim says no to that person who is blackmailing then that person’s emotions are hurt and the victim won’t obviously like it. And he/she has to think so much on saying a no or yes. My guests do the same thing. They emotionally blackmail me and I feel like urghhhhhhh!! I just can’t take so much of load. And I start my drama.

Hahhahaha whatever it may be! I am leaving it here. Because in the end it depends on me to go or not to go to places I don’t want to go with my guests. J

Weird enough? I KNOW

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